8 months gone

Hey Hunter, It's been nearly 8 months since I last saw you, felt your perfect skin against mine or kissed your little cheeks. I long for these things every day. I still wake up not believing this is me living this life. You are on my mind for almost the whole day. I stare at your pictures which surround me at work and wish for what should have been. Still I feel like this should not be the way of things. I watch Cooper race around and I always feel sad for the little brother he is missing. He talks about you often. There is a little bird that comes in our house and Cooper always tells us that bird is Hunter. Only that bird. There is lots of birds around at the moment but that one is the only one who comes in to see us and the only one Cooper calls Hunter. Are you coming to visit us as a little bird? Please come to our new house when we move. I'll give you the address. Soon you are going to be a big brother, I've asked you so mny times to keep little Rainbow safe and also to show me if you are having a brother or a sister. Each time you show me a little girl. The most beautiful baby girl with the same black eyes as you and Daddy have. Next week we'll find out the sex, I feel that I know we are having a little girl. A sister for you and Cooper. We'll be moving into our house soon, I'm excited about that but it'll feel weird because you haven't lived there. I think I will take your bed with me, I'm not ready to put that away yet. And we'll still have the place in the lounge for you somewhere we can always see it. I hope you'll find us. I still cry a lot, get angry and struggle with little things. That'll be with me for a while. I hope that once we have Rainbow that I'll feel a tiny bit more confident in life. Have a little bit of hope back. I love you so much baby boy. Daddy and I are going to come and have lunch by you today. I miss you so much it really hurts. Things are still very hard for Daddy and I. I love you. Mummy & Rainbow