“…Though I experienced death, I also experienced life…not after the darkness, as we might suppose, but in the darkness. I did not go through pain and come out the other side; instead, I lived in it and found within that pain the grace to survive and eventually grow. I did not get over the loss of my loved ones; rather, I absorbed the loss into my life, like soil receives decaying matter, until it became a part of who I am. Sorrow took up permanent residence in my soul and enlarged it.”–Jerry Sittser

I am two people now: one mourns and the other takes the steps that make up life.


These are from another blog I am reading.  Perfectly describes me.

I want to hold your hand again Hunter.  Such a tiny thing to ask for but one I have to wait so long for.

I visited you twice today.  Daddy and I have visited you nearly every day and it's never rained, or even spitted with rain.  We can leave the house in the most horrible weather but when we get to you the sun always shines.  You always shine.  Every single time.  That's incredible given it's been through the middle of winter.  I know you are doing it and I know you are with me.

You are my sunshine : )