Happy Mothers Day

Mothers Day

Morning Hunter!

I was reading the Mother's Day card Daddy wrote to me from you and  Cooper. I cried and cried. We were such a perfect family that day. 

I feel like I'm forgetting you because I can't cry all the time.  Sometimes I even feel like a bad Mum because we are trying to start having some fun again.  I'll never forget you though. I'll always be with you just like you will always be with me. 

My laptop is broken and its hard to write on my phone. It'll be fixed soon though. 

We took Cooper to the Zoo this weekend, he ran around and played with Daddy. He's such a good Dad, you boys are lucky to have him. 

Cooper woke up at 3.30 this morning and just wanted cuddles, so he slept in between Daddy and I.  I think that was the first time he's ever actually slept with us. It was nice until he woke me up at 6.10.  Too early.

I wish you were here.  I love you no matter what.

I miss you today Hunter.

I wish you were here with all my heart.

I love you my baby.  Daddy, Cooper and I are coming up to see you at the cemetery.
Keep the sun shining for us xx

Man of My Dreams

Hi Hunter,

Last night I dreamt of you.  Good dreams all night and I now know that you are with me.

You and I were at a beach somewhere, it was really warm.  Daddy had taken Cooper down to play on the sand and we were sitting on a big whicker chair on a deck watching them.

You have grown since the last time I saw you which makes me very happy.  You have quite a lot more black hair (must grow like weeds like your brothers does!).  You are starting to get that layer of cute baby chubbiness and were smiling at me as I talked to you about swimming in the ocean.  

I woke up this morning feeling like I had spent some time with you and I told Daddy with excitement in my voice about the things that we did at the beach.  All four us.  The way it should be.

I said we would let you grow up and you are.  

It's not good enough though.  I still wish all day that you were here with me but if you can visit me each night in my dreams I'll happily take it.

I'll hold you again one day my little love.  But for now you are the man of my dreams.  

A New Day

Today is a new day and my focus is of course Cooper but when he has his sleep rather than preparing dinner, doing the washing and housework I am concentrating on my latest mission, raising money for Starship.

They really deserve all the help they can get.  The Mobile Phone Appeal is something that Starship started last year and they raised over $1 million dollars.

I've made up this poster and have given it to a few friends, family members and businesses to post around the place and in their offices.  I'll also be putting it in mailboxes around my area.  Everything helps.  I think having a story to tell people or even just making reference to our Hunter will encourage people to get behind the cause.

Soon Mathew and I will be going back to Starship, back to PICU, back into the room where Hunter took those last precious breaths in our arms.  

When we go back I want to take something positive with us.  

Good Days & Bad Days

Today was a bad day.  I cried a lot for you Hunter, but this evening I decided to try and make a difference.

I will be fundraising for Starship and for children just like you.  Maybe together you and I can make a little bit of difference.   

This has made my day better. 

I'll make you proud Hunter.

Good night Baby Boy xx

Kindness

I caught up with a beautiful friend this morning.  It is not a good day for me but she wasn't scared to ask me how I am or ask me questions.  I love the brave people.  

Talking about Hunter is sometimes hard but most of the time I talk about him and it gives me comfort and makes the day a little brighter.  

Today a very kind person has had a star named after Hunter.  I will find that star and know it is his.  Thank you.

This photo was yesterday, me and my little rock.

Playlist for Hunter

A friend has asked me to post the Playlist that Mathew and I made for Hunter's funeral.

We chose each song carefully.  Each song means something to us.  Now they are Hunters songs.

You Raise Me Up - Josh Groban

You Are My Sunshine - Elizabeth Mitchell

You and Me - Eccentric Soul

Two Out of Three Ain't Bad - Meatloaf

Sara - Fleetwood Mac

Lay Your Love on Me - Roachford

Imagine - John Lennon 

Halleluja - Leonard Cohen

Father & Son - Cat Stevens

Dream Weaver - Gary Wright

Candle in the Wind - Elton John

Angels - Robbie Williams

Angel - Sarah McLachlan

Back for Good - Take That

Holding Back the Years - Simply Red

I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues - Elton John

You Were Meant for Me - Jewel

I'll Be Missing You - Puff Daddy & Faith Evans

You Are My Sunshine is Hunters Song.  We played this song as Mathew and I carried him out to the car to take him to his final resting place.

I love you Hunter, you are my sunshine